The Phallus Poem


A boy and I were hanging out one day

Hopping, skipping, romping at play

When he said to me out of the clear blue sky

He asked me, “could I be so bold as to imply

Without seeming sexist or chauvinist or callous

As to insinuate why you don’t have a phallus?”

“But I do have a phallus,” says I

“It’s just simply of a normal size

Yours is so intrusive, all long and dangly

Not rare, but a biological anomaly

That gets in the way of things you like

Such as taking a jog or riding a bike

You can’t play sports like baseball or foos

Without wearing plastic to prevent getting a bruise

Mine is all nice and neatly tucked away

To take out and play with on a boring rainy day

“But the female scrotum,” he mused, “it’s so hard to find.”

“Well,” I said, “my cousin found HER g-spot, and she is blind!

I don’t mean to argue;” I contended, “I don’t like to conflict.”

He said, “I’m just simply stating, so why must you contradict?”

“I don’t contradict,” I replied, “don’t be so trite.”

When my man and I put ourselves together, we fit just right

                                                                                                            © 2009 Jenny Perron

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